Becoming a multi-cultural family

Lenski and I often forget that we are an inter-racial couple.  It just never really occurs to us.  Ok, maybe it does when Lenski's skin is so nice and tan and I look more like a ghost but normally it doesn't cross our minds.  As we prepare for our future child one of the things we've had to think about is how we will parent cross culturally.  We've read a lot about this subject and here's some key things we wanted to share with you.

• Knowing something about child care practices, sleeping arrangements, toileting and hygeine, discipline, and even how children were carried takes on special importance when everything a child is experiencing is new and unfamiliar.
• Families can incorporate artifacts into their home and their new child's own space that reflect his/her culture.  
• Experimenting ahead of time with foods which will be familiar to the child is another way to feel connected.
• One mother stressed the importance of learning some minimal survival phrases and words such as: I'll be back; I am your mamma/papa; no; yes; I love you; food/eat; stop; come here; show me where it hurts; toilet.
• A person's ethnic identity is a person's sense of belonging to an ethnic group.  Ethnic identity is drawn from the realization that part of one's thinking, perceptions, feelings, and behaviors are consistent with those of the members of that ethnic group.  An adopted child has lost important ways of connecting with his/her ancestors and with contemporaries with whom he shares ethnicity.  
• If internationally adopted children are going to grow up with a cultural awareness of their ethnic groups, they will need to be part of communities in which those cultural values are transmitted.  
• The goal is to raise a child who can identify and interact with people of his own ethnic group and not be embarrassed to have been raised by white parents.
• The goal is for the child to appreciate his ethnic and cultural heritage enough not to feel alienated from others with the same heritage and to want to explore it and draw on it.  
• Culture camp can be an excellent experience for internationally adopted children.  It brings together children who have had a common experience not shared by most people.

These tidbits are from some of the books we've read.  It's really important to us to communicate with our child that we value their culture and that we hope they will too.  We are not wanting to "Americanize" a child although we understand that will be difficult NOT to do since we live in America.  

Sometimes people don't understand why Americans want to adopt children from other countries.  They think that we feel we need to "rescue" their children.  This can create animosity about international adoption.  Please pray for us as we continue this process.  We do not want to send the wrong message to people and we could use your prayers in that matter.  We would also love prayer for wisdom.  Wisdom to know how to parent cross culturally.  It's a big and very important task.  

We are excited about parenting cross culturally.  We only hope and pray that we do it well.