Pancakes and Butterflies

It's already October and I don't know where the time has gone.  Our dossier has been turned in and now we wait.  During the waiting period we study up on adoption and parenting.  We fill out tons of grant applications.  And of course, we fundraise.

It has been amazing to see how God has provided for this adoption.  It leaves me speechless...and that's very uncommon.  But we still have more to go.  We are looking at another $20,000 left to raise.  Yes, I meant to put that many zero's in there.  Because we have to travel to Russia THREE, count them, THREE times we still have this large chunk left.  In case you didn't know...it's not cheap to fly two people to Russia three different times.  So I spend a lot of my time handing this over to God, begging his forgiveness when I take it back and grinning when he surprises me with yet another donation of some sort.  But back to the fundraising...

October means it's Pancake Breakfast time and I am frantically trying to get everything ready.  There's supplies to get, volunteers to organize and silent auction items to acquire.  It's a lot of stuff to do.  But so many of you have made it easy by donating items for the auction or providing our much needed supplies.  It has made a huge difference for me.  But I still have butterflies in my stomach.  You always wonder when you put on an event like this, "Will anyone show up?"  And that's when the butterflies start fluttering in my tummy.  (Notice my child-like language.  My parenting research is paying off)

So the question is, "Will YOU show up?"  If you do, here's what you can expect:

1. Pancakes will be served from 9 am until 11 am.  You can come whenever you want.  You can come and NOT eat pancakes too!  The silent auction will be going on at the same time and you are not required to pay admission for that.
2. Adults will be charged $5 and children $3.  Once you're in, it's unlimited pancakes for everyone.
3. We kept it simple by just having pancakes, coffee and juice.  Sorry, we're just not fancy...or rich.
4. This is not a programmed event.  Lenski will be the MC and talk at different points but we'd really like it if you all just enjoy your Saturday morning with each other over some delicious pancakes.  
5. The silent auction will end at 11 am.  The highest bidder can take home their item if they are still there.  Otherwise we will deliver it to you.
6. We will have our t-shirts for sale there.  If you haven't had a chance to get one you may want to bring some extra cash.  They're really cool and you're going to want one.  They're $20 each or 2 for $30.

If you're wondering if there's anything you'd like to bid on at our silent auction, here's our complete list of items that will be available.

• Biggby package (sorry, no gift cards)
• Tattoo gift certificate (Lenski would like to add that this would make a great gift for him)
• 2 dual or couples massage gift certificates valued at $80 each
• A one-hour interior design consultation with Deidre Interiors valued at $75
• 6 one hour massage gift certificates for The Soma Center (Renee Green) valued at $50 each
• A $50 gift certificate to One Girl's Treasure
• 3 gift certificates for a customizable quarter sheet cake
• A dozen of Art Green cookies in these flavors: Heath, Molasses, Chocolate Chip, Oatmeal Raisin and Sugar with sprinkles.  Valued at $15 / dozen.
• Brand new home fencing that's 2 feet tall and 100 feet long
• Homemade fudge
• 2 retro silver lamps
• Snoopy baby package
• Brand new IKEA hammock valued at $30
• Brand new IKEA pendant lamp valued at $20
• $10 gift card to Koetsier's
• Wine and cheese package with brand new wine glasses and salad plates as well as cloth napkins
• A salon items package with Bed Head, Pureology and more valued at $120
• Brand new wall clock valued at $13
• A Magic Bullet set
• Brand new wireless mouse
• Brand new Calvin Klein hat, scarf and gloves set bought last year from Younkers
• Ladies brand new watch and jewelry set valued at $35
• Mens brand new watch, wallet and pen set valued at $35
• Brand new solar charger
• Brand new chocolate colored Moby wrap valued at $45
• Brand new pedometer and pink yoga map
• Brand new bathroom faucet valued at $39
• Cooking set with 3 Rachael Ray cookbooks and a new set of stainless steel bowls valued at $70
• No Greater Love 90-day devotional valued at $15
• The Wounded Spirit by Frank Peretti valued at $19
• Brand new Infantino 3-n-1 Shop and Play mat valued at $25
• Summer Infant Cosleeper valued at $45
• Samsonite laptop workbag on wheels
• An authentic Amis made quilt valued at $500

So there you have it.  If you made it this far down I'm impressed.  We hope you will mark your calendars and join us at the pancake breakfast on October 13th from 9 to 11 am at Tallmadge Community Church.

Pancake Breakfast & Silent Auction

Tallmadge Community Church

0-1428 Leonard NW

Grand Rapids, MI 49534

Meeting the Russians

Tonight we had a very unique opportunity.  Our adoption agency has an office located in St. Petersburg, Russia.  Two of the key leaders over there were here to visit the main office in Jenison this week.  They were here for several reasons but one of them was for an international families open house.  It was the chance to come and meet key people from different international offices.  They had two men from Russia, a lady from China and a man from Ethiopia.

We were able to get a lot of time to talk with them as there was only one other couple there who is going through the Russia program.  We had a great time talking to them about the adoption process, Russian culture and even where Lenski's name comes from!  They were so intrigued by his name that they asked him if he knew where it came from.  Then they shared more history about it.  It was fantastic.  Lenski, of course, talked to them about soccer as they informed us that it is the most popular sport there right now.

It was nice to get to meet them since we found out that normally we wouldn't.  They are the key people in helping us find a child but usually we'd never get to see them in person.  So we were blessed to get that chance tonight.  To mark the occasion we asked if we could take a picture.  As you look at the photo please say a prayer for these two men.  The responsibilities they have are huge and personally we'd love to have them covered in prayer as they help us become a family.

How Much Do We Make From Amazon?

Lenski brought up a very good point that people will probably want to know how much we make from your purchases on Amazon.  So I've decided to copy and paste what I found in my affiliate account.

These categories have a fixed percentage rate:



Other categories are considered volume based percentage rates:



We're still trying to get the hang of all this but it seems to be such a win/win for everybody.  If you have more questions please feel free to ask and we'll do our best to answer.

Amazon for Adoption Expenses!

Fundraising is not an easy thing.  Stop and think for a moment how easy it is for you to ask someone for help.  Now add on to it that the help you need is financial.  It's a sticky subject with many people and we understand.  In our journey to raise all of our adoption funds we are trying to make things easy and natural.  For instance our pancake breakfast is coming up next month.  Lots of families go out to eat   for breakfast on a Saturday so why not use that money to support your loved ones by attending this special fundraiser?
Another way you can help us is by doing your normal Amazon shopping through our special link.  Whenever you do we will get a small percentage of the profits.  There's no need to do extra shopping.  Just use it as you normally would.  The only difference is that you use our link instead of typing in amazon.com.  To make it easier you could just save that page in your browser bar.  Then it's easily accessible anytime you plan on shopping.
We understand that money doesn't grow on trees and most people we know are not in wealthy positions in life.  That's why we're trying to line up our fundraisers with things you may already spend money on.  To make it easy for you to give and support us without any worries.  We hope you'll consider using this link in the future.  Just click on it below to get started.


Tanya & Lenski's Amazon Link

My future child is not a sweater

If the title of this post has already made you confused let me explain...

I am often asked about why we chose to adopt from Russia.  People are shocked when they hear how much it costs and they can't believe we wouldn't go the more "affordable" route by adopting through foster care or domestically.  I understand that the "cost" of adoption is a big deal.  After all, we are the ones trying to raise almost $45,000.  So the cost is a big deal to us too.

The difference is that we didn't go into adoption looking for an "affordable" child.  It's not always like shopping for a sweater and trying to find the best deal.  Hence the name of this post.  I'm all for finding a deal.  For those of you who know me, you know this is true to the fullest extent.  But sometimes there are things in life that this doesn't apply to.  Adoption CAN be one those.

The truth is that children need families.  That's the bottom line.  So if your financial situation in life limits where and how you can adopt then I understand.  But sometimes God calls you to something that's beyond your means and capabilities.  Not because he wants you to suffer under the pressure and stress but because He wants you to trust him to do something miraculous.

We see this in the Bible when God tells a guy named Joshua to walk around a fortified city wall and blow on some instruments to make the walls fall down.  Not a great military strategy if you ask me but God knew what He was doing.  Just read Joshua 6 and tell me that doesn't sound crazy.

If that doesn't strike you as weird how about the time He told Gideon that He would hand over the Mideonites but only if he would get rid of most of his army and go in with 300 men.  To make it even more "God style" Gideon and his men just needed to stand around the camp, break some pitchers and blow their horns and the whole camp would go into panic and undo themselves.  Gideon and his men just got to watch.  It's in Judges 7, trust me.

In both of these stories God called these men to something bigger then they could have imagined and they had to make a decision.  They had to decide to obey God or follow logic.  They chose to be obedient and God was more than faithful to come through for them.

Lenski and I started this process by WANTING to adopt domestically.  Not because of affordability but because we heard that there is a need for families willing to adopt children of other races.  So we set out on that path.  We had all the money we would need for that.  But God came in and turned things upside down like He often does.  He called us to something that seems beyond our reach.  But we had to decide if we would trust Him and be obedient or make the "good financial" decision and stay in the USA.  Despite the fear that came from looking at the numbers we decided to go with Russia.  And I'm so glad we did.  We've been able to see God work in miraculous ways.  Now it's time you see it too.  Here's what he's done in just 4 months:

$4,160 has been sent to us as donations
$361 in change has been collected and donated
$1,098 was made by selling things people gave to us
$500 was given to us by a church unexpectedly (They struggle to pay their bills)
$398 has been raised and donated by our 8 year old cousin
$200 was given to Lenski as part of an award he won (Lenski's never won an award like this)
$760 has been miraculously refunded to us from our mortgage, gas and insurance companies
$2,360 was raised at a 3 day garage sale selling items you donated to us
$550 is how much Lenski will make from speaking engagements that he was unexpectedly asked to do

That alone is $10,387 and that's not even the total amount we've raised.  It also doesn't include the fundraisers that are coming up or grants we intend to apply for.

I am so thankful that we heard God's calling and responded with obedience instead of listening to our fears.  What an amazing thing it is to see God working in such crazy ways.

Becoming a multi-cultural family

Lenski and I often forget that we are an inter-racial couple.  It just never really occurs to us.  Ok, maybe it does when Lenski's skin is so nice and tan and I look more like a ghost but normally it doesn't cross our minds.  As we prepare for our future child one of the things we've had to think about is how we will parent cross culturally.  We've read a lot about this subject and here's some key things we wanted to share with you.

• Knowing something about child care practices, sleeping arrangements, toileting and hygeine, discipline, and even how children were carried takes on special importance when everything a child is experiencing is new and unfamiliar.
• Families can incorporate artifacts into their home and their new child's own space that reflect his/her culture.  
• Experimenting ahead of time with foods which will be familiar to the child is another way to feel connected.
• One mother stressed the importance of learning some minimal survival phrases and words such as: I'll be back; I am your mamma/papa; no; yes; I love you; food/eat; stop; come here; show me where it hurts; toilet.
• A person's ethnic identity is a person's sense of belonging to an ethnic group.  Ethnic identity is drawn from the realization that part of one's thinking, perceptions, feelings, and behaviors are consistent with those of the members of that ethnic group.  An adopted child has lost important ways of connecting with his/her ancestors and with contemporaries with whom he shares ethnicity.  
• If internationally adopted children are going to grow up with a cultural awareness of their ethnic groups, they will need to be part of communities in which those cultural values are transmitted.  
• The goal is to raise a child who can identify and interact with people of his own ethnic group and not be embarrassed to have been raised by white parents.
• The goal is for the child to appreciate his ethnic and cultural heritage enough not to feel alienated from others with the same heritage and to want to explore it and draw on it.  
• Culture camp can be an excellent experience for internationally adopted children.  It brings together children who have had a common experience not shared by most people.

These tidbits are from some of the books we've read.  It's really important to us to communicate with our child that we value their culture and that we hope they will too.  We are not wanting to "Americanize" a child although we understand that will be difficult NOT to do since we live in America.  

Sometimes people don't understand why Americans want to adopt children from other countries.  They think that we feel we need to "rescue" their children.  This can create animosity about international adoption.  Please pray for us as we continue this process.  We do not want to send the wrong message to people and we could use your prayers in that matter.  We would also love prayer for wisdom.  Wisdom to know how to parent cross culturally.  It's a big and very important task.  

We are excited about parenting cross culturally.  We only hope and pray that we do it well.  

Mean what you say and say what you mean

These days it's not uncommon to hear someone call another person retarded or even to refer to an event or thing as such.  We use it interchangeably with the word stupid or dumb.  But what does that mean for those who are developmentally challenged or delayed?  Does that mean that they're stupid or dumb?  Of course that's never what we mean but the fact remains that our words are powerful and they can communicate more than what we'd like.  What does this have to do with our adoption?

Adoptive parents and children are subjected to something similar.  As Lenski and I continue to learn more about adoption we want to share it with you, our "village", as a way to help us all grow and be better prepared for this change in our lives.  The truth is that many of you will be part of this child's life and the words you use will impact them.  So let's choose them wisely and really think about what we're saying.  We've been given a great list of positive and negative ways to use adoption terms and we'd like you to take a look:

Positive Language                                                            Negative Language
Birth Parent                                                                        Real Parent
Biological Parent                                                                Natural Parent
Birth Child                                                                          Own Child
Born to unmarried parents                                                  Illegitimate
Terminate parental rights                                                    Give up
Make an adoption plan                                                       Give away
To parent                                                                            To keep
Waiting child                                                                      Adoptable child; Available child
Parent                                                                                 Adoptive parent
Intercountry adoption                                                         Foreign adoption
Child placed for adoption                                                   Unwanted child
Court termination                                                                Child taken away
Child with special needs                                                     Handicapped child
Child from abroad                                                               Foreign child
WAS adopted                                                                      Is adopted

We understand if some of these are easier than others.  Lenski and I are also working on this shift.  But we all need to remember that words not only describe, they evoke feelings and that can be positive or negative.  Since we want to celebrate adoption and recognize it as the positive option it is we want our language to reflect that.  We hope that you will join us.