It Takes A Village

When Lenski and I started preparing for the adoption process we sent out a letter to friends and family.  Maybe you received one of these or maybe you read it on this blog.  In the letter we shared the details of how much the adoption would cost and invited people to join us in this.  We talked about how it was very similar to the TV commercials you see asking for your monthly support to help children around the world.  Except this time you would actually be able to meet this child and see how their life would change.

When we wrote this letter we never imagined that our little cousin would embrace this idea so much and become one of our biggest supporters.  Her name is Ally and she is 8 years old.  She lives in Indiana with her family.  We don't get to see her and her family often enough but they have been a huge source of encouragement.  When Ally found out that we were adopting from Russia she decided to decorate a container and label it "Pennies for Primos".  Primo is cousin in Spanish.  So she started her own little fundraiser for us.  According to her mom she is always trying to sell things to make some money to give to us.  She is also driving up with her family to help us out with our garage sale. (June 14-16) She (and her family) have blessed us so much.

You might not think that one little girl could do much but...the day Lenski and I were leaving to go out of town we got a check in the mail from Ally's fundraising.  It was a check for over $45!  She had collected that much change in April alone!  We were stunned to say the least.

We love the saying, "It takes a village".  Well, children are always part of the village.  Maybe we just aren't giving them enough credit.  So here's to you Ally!  Thank you for all that you've done and all that you're still doing to help bring home your new little cousin.  We love you.

Why am I surprised when God shows up?

I've been a Christian long enough to know that God loves to swoop in with crazy plans that always work and make everything just right.  So why is it that I still get surprised by it?  I know it's going to happen but when it does I'm left stunned.  I think I missed a class on this in church or something.

And so the story goes with this adoption process.  I know God has this under control.  I'm even unusually calm about all of it.  I just have a strong peace about it.  And yet...I still get surprised.

As most of you know we recently turned in our formal application to begin the adoption.  With the application we had to turn over $3,900.  We had raised a little over $3,000 by the time the day came to turn it in.  Obviously a little shy of what was needed.  But we weren't worried.  The day came and Lenski left early in the morning to take a trip.  I got up and did my usual thing with quite a bit of extra excitement.    I couldn't wait to turn in the application.  But before I could I had stuff to do.  I gathered up everything I needed for the day and hopped in the car.  My first stop was the bank to deposit the money to cover the check.  Even though we hadn't raised all the money and still don't know how we'll pay for all the fees, I was more than calm...I was ecstatic.  So I was about to pull out of the drive way when the mailbox caught my eye.  I figured I might as well check it since I wouldn't be home until later in the afternoon.  I hopped and walked over to.  When I opened it up I saw a card from a friend of ours.  I thought to myself, "That's such sweet timing to get a card in the mail."  We had received some other cards with such encouraging thoughts that I assumed this would be the same...which it was.  But as I opened the card up to read it a check fell out.  I thought, "Oh, how sweet of them to send a check and on such a perfect day."  I set it aside and read the card first without looking at the check.  What a blessing the card alone was.  We keep them all and read them from time to time.  Then I figured I should look at the check.  As I opened it up I couldn't believe my eyes...it was written out for $1,000 dollars!  I bust out laughing.  Probably not the normal response but I just couldn't help myself.  God decided to swoop in and make everything more than alright.

The great thing about this story is that our friends couldn't have known that their card would arrive when it did.  They couldn't have known that I would check the mail RIGHT BEFORE HEADING TO THE BANK!  It was God...swooping in once again.  And all I could do was laugh...the rest of the day.

To all of you who have given to us whether it's been through encouraging words, donations, change, coffee purchases or more...you are being God's hands and feet not only to us but to a little one that none of us even know yet.  You are already impacting a child's life.  Thank you.  May God bless you richly.

To Buy or To Make - Why Adoption

The stereotype is this - If you can't have a baby yourself then you can always adopt.

Most people see no problem with this statement. The truth is most people don't even think much about a sentiment like that. Isn't that what adoption is for? For families that couldn't make it happen themselves? I know, I know. That's not what people are saying. But if you stop and think about the implications of the above statement...it kinda is.

When Lenski and I started talking about having a family we talked about how many kids we wanted, what we thought they'd look like, made up funny stories about how they'd turn out like Lenski and...that we definitely wanted to adopt. Not a lot of people know this. We weren't trying to keep it a secret or anything. People were just so excited that we were ready to start trying that the focus fell on having biological children. It didn't bother us really because we figured we might as well try the old fashioned way first before we figure out how to afford adoption. Then things went the way the often do.

We did all the usual trying procedures. Did lots of tests and saw lots of doctors. Heck, my dad even offered Lenski a picture book to make sure he knew what he was doing (he was joking). But in the end we were told that it is VERY unlikely that we will ever have biological children. It took us awhile to come back from that. But when we did we felt there was no point in waiting anymore and we might as well get started with the adoption process.

This is the part of the story that many friends and family have gotten wrong. We DIDN'T choose to adopt BECAUSE of infertility. We had already made that choice when we decided to have a family. The only thing that changed was timing. Getting pregnant when neither of you are working is fine. Nobody can tell you you're not allowed to do that. Adopting, however, is very different. And we were told we couldn't get started until one of us had a job. Which meant we would have to wait until Lenski was out of school and found a job. We were crushed. But thankfully, God had other plans and we are ready to start the process.

I share this with you because I'd like to clear up some misconceptions about our journey and our view on adoption. Here are some things you need to know:

1. The money we are spending on adoption would not be better spent on trying to fix our infertility. If it's going to happen it's going to be by God's hand...and that's just the way we like it.
2. Yes, this adoption is very expensive. It's about as expensive as one of your cars, a down payment on your house, college tuition and more. But just as those things have value...so does our future child and there's no amount of money that would be too much to give that child the opportunity to know love and a better life.
3. Adoption is NOT and was NOT our plan B. It was always part of plan A for our family.
4. We believe strongly in orphan care not just adoption. We believe we are commanded to take care of them in scripture.

The author of one of my favorite books, Red Letters, wrote a blog post on scriptures that talk about caring for the orphan. If you'd like to check it out please click here. I would encourage you to do so to understand where we're coming from.

We apologize to anyone who is saddened that we're not trying more for biological children. Please understand that to us children are children, no matter how they come to you. We hope that when we finally bring home our child you will be able to give him or her the same kind of love you would if we had brought them home from the hospital. They will need it just as much and so will we.

If you still have questions or concerns please feel free to contact one of us. We would be happy to sit and chat with you.

Why Russia?

When Lenski and I decided to pursue adoption we originally planned on adopting an infant domestically. We had it all planned out...as people often do...and then we saw God's plan. Here's how it happened:

A moment

Many people we know who have already adopted talked about this moment they had where they "just knew". Whether it was about a specific child, where to adopt from or even the agency, they all described this moment they had where things were very clear and they become certain about something. Lenski and I had not experienced that. We were not concerned about it but rather curious.

The meeting

We had already chosen which agency we wanted to go with so we decided to go to one of their informational meetings. We were so excited that we got there super early and were the first ones. That was great for us because we had the undivided attention of the staff. We told them all about our plans and asked lots of questions. The meeting was actually a two part presentation they told us. The first part was about adopting domestically and the second was about international adoption. Since we were certain about adopting domestically they said that we could just leave during the intermission if we wanted to. Then they gave us the packet of information about domestic adoption. We gladly took it and were ready to dive into it when they hesitantly said, "And here's the international packet. Would you like to just take it to look at?" Not wanting to be rude we took it and sat down. We said, "Sure, it couldn't hurt to look at it." We had no idea what we had just done.

The meeting hadn't started yet and we decided to flip through the international packet since we had already devoured the domestic one. In the folder was information on the three countries they work with; China, Ethiopia and Russia. When we saw the Russia information it was as though pieces of a puzzle began to fall into place. Here's what I mean:

• Lenski got his name because his mother was reading a Russian novel.
• We already have a Russian girl's name picked out.
• Lenski is obsessed with Russian names. (Ask him about Mariska Hargitay)
• That day in class (prior to the meeting) Lenski told his classmates that he thought Russian was the most beautiful language.
• Lenski used to know the Russian national anthem.
• My name is also Russian.
• When we talk about where we'd love to travel Lenski's #1 spot is Russia.

These are just some small pieces. The big ones were happening in our hearts. We both got so excited that we could hardly pay attention to the lady who had begun the presentation on domestic adoption. We kept whispering back and forth and asking each other how we'd feel about going with Russia instead. Lenski looked like a little puppy whose owner had just come home. You know what that looks like right? The puppy gets so excited that they may even pee a little because they're so happy. That was Lenski. I thought he was going to jump up and down and start clapping but thankfully the room full of people seemed to restrain him.

So we decided to stay and listen to the international presentation. We could hardly wait. The intermission took forever and then she started. But she started with China. So we tried to stay calm and composed. Then she went on to Ethiopia and I thought I was going stand up and scream like a dictator for her to tell me about Russia this instant. Thankfully, I didn't.

Finally Russia

When the lady began to talk about Russia we both became relaxed and more excited at the same time. If that's even possible. I was taking notes and couldn't write fast enough. I knew it was all in the packet but I somehow thought that writing it would make it more real or happen faster. Oh the things we think when we're excited. She began to tell us that there are three types of Russian children you could adopt. This was a surprise to us. She said that because of Russia's location some children will look Chinese. Others will look caucasian. As she's saying this she refers to pictures that are on the wall which I had not noticed. They were pictures of children who had already been adopted. The last one she mentioned was Roma which are gypsies. When she pointed us to the picture of a Roma girl my heart stopped...

The Dream

To understand why my heart stopped I have to take you back to Christmas morning. I woke up early in the am on Christmas morning because I had a very powerful dream. I dreamed that I was walking through a place that seemed like a hospital and was holding a child in my arms. I was not in a hospital gown and the child wasn't looking at me. When I looked down at the child she turned to look at me. She was, in fact, not an infant. She was a toddler. She had olive toned skin, dark hair with the bangs cut across her forehead and lots of teeth. I noticed the teeth because she smiled at me.

There's more to the dream but that's for another day. Let's stick with this part for right now.

Back to the meeting

When the lady pointed us to the picture of a Roma Russian girl my heart stopped because it was the girl from my dream. She had olive toned skin, the same big eyes, the same full set of teeth and her hair was also exactly the same. Bangs cut across her forehead. Now remember that this girl has already been adopted but I couldn't help but feel like God was nudging me in this direction. I slapped Lenski and said, "That's the girl from my dream!" Lenski of course replied, "What dream?" even though he had to spend part of Christmas morning consoling me because of the dream. I quickly reminded him and we both just didn't know what to say.

After the meeting

We hopped in our car after the meeting was over and there was only silence. Lenski decided he would try and figure out how to converse about what we just experienced. He wanted to be fair so he asked me what I thought about the domestic presentation. I just looked at him and said, "I have no idea what she even said." The truth was that we both tried to listen but couldn't because our hearts had been turned to Russia and we could think of nothing else. We still wanted to make sure that we weren't just experiencing some weird adoption high so we said we'd give it some time and prayer. What happened was that our excitement for Russia only grew as the days passed. We couldn't stop talking about it. We finally realized...we had our moment. The meeting was it. Everything was clear and we felt certain. We want to adopt from Russia.

Greetings Friends & Family

As some of you may know, for the last two years Lenski has stepped away from doing full-time ministry in order to pursue a Masters degree at Grand Rapids Theological Seminary. It’s been a long hard road and the end is in sight. He will be graduating in May with a Masters degree in Intercultural Ministries. We are very excited about what the future holds and he is already pursuing ministry leads that we hope will begin in May or June.

While this is exciting and no doubt will change our lives, it is not the most anticipated event about to happen to us. We have begun the process to adopt a child from Russia. Yes, Lenski’s name will finally make sense. It is because of this new development that we are writing.

Lenski and I have been dreaming of growing our family for a while now. We always knew that adoption would be part of that and now it seems that the time has come to start. In looking at adoption possibilities we were surprised to see how many options there were. After taking some time to pray about it, we feel very certain that Russia is the route we need to take.

With that goal ahead of us we are faced with numerous fees and expenses that naturally come in the adoption process. While we do have savings that we plan to use, the total cost for this adoption will be around $40,000. I may be good with money but that’s a little beyond my reach and our savings will not cover it. As we have spoken with friends who have adopted and the agency we are going through, both have told us that we should ask friends and family for help. It may seem like an unusual request but it’s no more unusual than the commercials you see on TV asking you to give to orphans in foreign countries. Instead of just helping them while they are somewhere else we are asking for your help to partner with us in changing their life permanently. There are many ways you can help. There is a list on the left side of this page to help you get started. This is a huge undertaking and we need help in so many ways. At the bottom of this post you will find our list of fees that we have and we would love for you to pray over them. If you would consider being part of this life-changing event or have any questions you’d like to ask please contact us via phone or e-mail. We look forward to hearing from you.

Lenski - lenski76@gmail.com / 616-821-2042

Tanya - savedfromwaste@yahoo.com / 616-821-2778

Fees

Due with Formal application - $3,900

30 days after Formal application submission (home study) - $1,685

During home study (pre-adoption education & psychological evaluation) - $230-$2,000

Fingerprinting & USCIS (immigration) - $805

During our dossier preparation (notary / authentication) - $60-$1,200

Upon submission of our dossier - $7,705

Visa's - $1,200-1,500

During our first trip to Russia (we have to take 2-3) - $1,500

Once we've accepted a referral (the referral of a particular child in the orphanage) - $15,570

During our second trip to Russia - $2,050 - $3,910

Travel expenses - unknown at this time but could be around $5,000 and up